Psalm 139 for those needing validation from others
I desperately need people to agree with me.
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I desperately need people to agree with me.
In my lukewarm Christian years, a big habit for me was texting friends when someone else “wronged” me in any big or small way. I needed other people to validate my annoyance, irritation; the other person’s stupidity or insensitivity. It looked like constantly texting throughout the day. Getting in my head. Being more present in my mental world than the physical world around me (ahh, the unseen spirit world consuming our thoughts).
By the sheer grace of God (truly more God than any of my own strength or discipline) this routine rarely happens anymore.
But my fleshly desire for human validation/approval still exists.
Ironically, the scene in my head and the world I create when I seek human validation plays out like a courtroom.
I’m the prosector. My “enemy” is on the defense stand. I’m pacing around the courtroom, proclaiming my case, trying to convince the jury why the defense is wrong.
It’s ironic because scripture paints the same picture1. Except Satan is the persecutor, our accuser. We are on the witness stand. Jesus is our defense lawyer, our advocate. God is the judge.
How humbling—and downright awful—to think we take on the agenda of Satan when we accuse others. How prideful to think we could replace God on the judgement seat.
We don’t need to defend ourselves. We don’t need to “justify” ourselves. We are fully justified from sins in Jesus. We trust God to handle all evil done to us (romans 12).
Yet living that truth out in a genuine way, with a pure heart, takes true, spiritual transformation that results in behavior change. Thought pattern change. It takes the word of God and prayer.
I have found Psalm 139 to be the perfect medicine for the treatment of seeking human validation. A helpful cure for needing an entire jury to agree with you.
Psalm 139 Overview
139:1-6, God fully knows and understands you and also the situation at hand.
139:1, No matter how I paint myself in the story for the jury, God has (past tense) examined and known my maturity or immaturity in the situation. If I acted righteously, God already knows. If I acted selfishly, God already knows. Only his opinion of my ways matter, I don’t need validation from others.
139:2, He understands thoughts from “afar off.” We don’t even need to be in a “close relationship” with God or “feel near” him for him to not only know but understand our thoughts.
139:3, I love in NKJV, he COMPREHENDS our all our ways and paths. I feel like I can over-explain a situation to death, hashing through every little detail, and still be the only one to “comprehend” to my liking.
139:4, God knows what I’m going to say before I even say it! My words not only to Him, but to others. This verse reminds me I need only be still, how futile over-explaining and defending myself is.
139:7-12, God was there when it happened. He is always with you.
139:12, Even in our darkest times, darkness and light are the same to God, there’s nowhere we can be without him there with us.
139:13-16, God created you. He understands more fully than anyone else.
Going back in time to our very start, God was there. Going forward in time to our last day on earth, God already has it numbered. He sees our experiences and trials in the context of our start and end on earth.
139:17-18, God considers, contemplates, and processes the dynamics of the conflict more than you do.
God’s thoughts about us are so vast, they outnumber even our own thoughts about ourselves. Not only that, they are precious thoughts. Trust me—God has THROUGH THRU the situation at hand in full. His thoughts for the intricate details of our lives cannot be numbered.
139:19-24, Humbling myself, confidence in God
139:19-22, God brings justice to the wicked but I must humble myself to realize I may have wicked in me too—search me, O God, and know my heart! See if there is any wicked way in me!
139:23-24, The humbling part of any earthly relationship is there’s always two sides and it’s not always an easy clean right/wrong, but a mix of rights, wrongs, motives, intentions. Only God sees hearts, only God can judge. All we can do is ask God to search us, reveal to us what’s wicked in us, and trust him to be the just judge. Something “karma” only wishes it could be.
Psalm 139 Takeaways
God is the only one who understands.
God is the only one whose opinion (validation!) matters.
God is the only one who can not only justly judge but heal and restore.
This is not a post about removing wise third-party counsel from your relationships that need help. Please seek and allow Godly counsel from God’s people to speak into your blind spots and relationships.
This is a post about the need for human validation for every big and small injustice done to us and the truth that we already have validation from God. And what he doesn’t approve of, he will reveal to us, as we ask him to search us, know us, test us, lead us.
Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my concerns.
See if there is any offensive way in me;
lead me in the everlasting way.Psalm 139:23-24 CSB
ICYMI…
We’re in week 2 of my preschool Bible Study! This week, we’re teaching our kids to read the Bible every day, focusing on Psalm 16:11—God’s word brings us JOY!
Very powerful reading. Wish I’d known this truth at a much younger age. Seeking validation from any source other than God who made us, understands us……. Is futile. Satan loves us to waste our time in that way.